Friend asked: "Would you let your teenage sister go out without a m7ram (escort)?" and it inspired this article...
Recently, A Newsweek article by Fareed Zakaria caught my attention; the article argued that western thinking, which instantly brings to mind democracy and freedom of speech, have issues penetrating the Islamic world.
After much thought on how this issue relates to me and the community here, I came to an intresting conclusion. To be truly open-minded (in the western sense) here in the UAE is not possible, unless you want to risk alienating yourself from all that you (should) hold dear to you.
The reason for this, is that there is a deep sense of honor here, and honor has no place for freedoms, period. I believe that to truly understand honor you would have to have a train of thought that is (probably) the flipside of that held by most people reading this very article.
Though honor sounds like something that is holding the community back,.,. lt is quite the opposite. I feel that because most people here are changing their beliefs of honor, the countries true potential suffers. Nowadays, people either totally ignore honor, or they apply honor to things of no value. For instance, you have the progressive local who thinks that being honor has no place in his "freedoms". Or you could have a bedouin who thinks that educating his daughter would comprimise her virtue, and therefore lower his family's name (in the community). Both these people would be gravely mistaken; I disagree with the progressive guy because I strongly, and deeply believe that honor is integral in having peace of mind, body, and soul. Also, I would disagree with the bedouin man, because of two things: First, he intrepreted honor in the wrong way, and as a result, he over-exagerated his sense of honor. Honor should be placed on things of value: To have an educated daughter, in my eyes, is to be truly honorable.
In conclusion:
- People should not overlook honor, nor should they exaggerate it.
- Remember that honor applies to everyone, whether they ignore it or not.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
It's true that even if you are open minded, you still have to stop at one point because we live in this society and are part of it and so we have to do things because of that, and we can't do things, even if we believe there is nothing wrong with it, because we are part of this society.
Growing up I didn't understand that and was always so confused and mad because of the no's I get from my parents every now and then. Now I know that they could have said yes but that would have changed the way other people around me see me as a woman.
One of the main things that caused that is that people here almost always generalize, so if someone goes to a certain place, then they are.... (That's just only an example)
That is so true, everything you wrote. Honor is a person's virtue and soul, we all have it in us, it is just a matter of using it and nurturing it by believing in our values, not only as Muslims, but as Arabs who are part of the community.
To me, a person of no honor is no one worth knowing (that is just me). And I just want to point out that there are a lot of western people who have honor, ok so maybe not a lot but they do exist: P
Ok, what was I talking about,, lol,, I always get off topic,, anyway, u get the point..
May all of our locals have Honor or learn to have it any day now
You get honour because people give it... you don't project honour unless it is acknowldge by the majority.
Therefor the majority dictates what is honour and who has it.
In the west it is not a matter of honour to let your sister go out alone...and therefor...the sisters who do go out alone without a ma7ram are not risking to loose their honour.
you see what I mean? It's not about who is more honourable or better or worse...just that you could live in a muslim society and let your sister go out without a ma7ram and should the society not find it objectionable you would not be loosing honour...
balance is naturally key.
thank you all for commenting...
btw if anyone is going to comment after this: do you think the topics too strange or complicating?
I disagree on that point sha3era, honor is not something to be dictated to you by anyone. I must note, though that honor is acknowledged by others (usually)
True honor stems from you, not what others think of you, the latter is called reputation.
In addition it IS about whats "better or worse": Its about whats better or worse within the basis of your ideals; the root of all honor. So it doesnt matter what society you live in, or what people think of you... its about how you structure your ideals that should give you honor.
Biz wants to comment but Malsoon keeps trying to jump on her laptop.
... she's under attack by an african. She is not fighting back but keeps saying 'GO BACK TO AFIRCA!'
...Maybe that's provoking him?
I love a good argument, so i don't think that this is complicated.
I loved this topic
Do you mean sharif or karama?
sharif is honor right?
and karama is pride right?
i think thats the 2 things that mix people up. There is sharif al bint or sharif al nas, or sharif al ummah. The male or females honor.
For example if someone said something bad about a girl, you are denouncing her honor.
People have a big issue with their karama. They cling to it dearly. Sometimes it admirable and sometimes its just plain stupid.
I guess it just deals with the situation.
Back to the question, would you let your sister go out without a proper mohram? It depends on where you live in and the society you are in contact with.
In the west for example, her going out with or without a mohram is up to her parents. If she does something that questions her honor, then of course her parents would have a mohram escort her. If she does go out without a mohram, there is no problem either. Once again it just deals with society.
When I am in the UAE I feel so much better and safer when I have a mohram with me when I go out.
However when I am in the US, I don't find it necessary to have a mohram.Though, I wouldn't object if I had one.
When it concerns societies, honor is depicted differently according to each society. But everyone has there own self-honor, so to speak. I believe that honor has to do with your actions, regardless of what you stand for personally. It also has something to do with what the person defines as honorable or not. One cant call himself honorable if he hasnt done anything honorable.
Furthermore one cant be called dishonorable but not do anything dishonorable, i.e. a girl going to sheesha place to relax with friends, yet not going there to flirt/mingle/doing dishonorable things with guys and so on and so forth.
I probably confused half the people with this, including myself, but I think its a good topic to talk about.
I always thought honor is reputation.
and i'm so tired to explain why. Tomorrow.
Post a Comment